ELAINE TURKINGTON GOODBYE TRIBUTE
Elaine’s skills on the links are steady. Her swing is short & precise.
One round in the early 2000’s, Anne Gotro offered her advice.
“That wind is pretty strong.” She continued “I think you should club up.”
Elaine’s tee shot flew over the pond and went directly in the cup.
Celebration and screaming ensued along with hugging sessions.
Anne is pretty knowledgeable about golf and is offering free lessons.
Elaine and I have been double partners for around 16 years.
We made the finals twice but ended up crying in our beers.
In 2015, we got bumped by Norma Jean and Kathy Crowe.
Losers again in 2021. We could never win the dough.
She made loads of chip-in pars, to annoy those that we did play.
Our longest match took endurance but after 22 holes, I couldn’t stay.
Elaine thought I wanted to forfeit when I got a call on my cell phone.
I said “Why don’t you continue and try to beat them on your own?”
While the opponents rode down to 5, Elaine walked alone on her two feet.
She tied them on 5 and again on 6. Finally on #7, the two she beat.
6 hours and 25 holes walking, is a very impressive win.
She realized I was the weakest link. I took it on the chin.
Elaine loves to go on adventures whether with Lou, her friends or as one.
Collingwood, Ellicottville, Italy or to Helen’s in Florida for a little sun.
Shopping, Drag Queen or one night, too many Happy Hours, put her in a haze.
Unable to stir her, she slept all night covered with a towel on Helen’s balcony chaise.
Probably the funniest story of Elaine’s escapades happened in the parking lot.
Getting her power caddy from her trunk, placing her clubs in the appropriate slot.
Not sure how she got distracted, whether chatting or taking a call.
She turned around to grab her equipment and there was nothing there at all.
Was it a trick someone was playing on her? Where did her golf clubs go?
How the cart moved without her, I guess we’ll never know.
They were discovered across Maple Avenue in a bush near the opposite pond.
A defective remote control perhaps? Or proof that her hair is truly blond.
We are excited for her new adventure as she heads to Collingwood.
We know Elaine will make golf buddies and friends in her new neighbourhood.
Let’s toast our special friend. Raise a beer or (a) Pinot) Grigio.
Is it too late to beg “ELAINE TURKINGTON PLEASE DON’T GO!!!”
July 4, 2023
Lori Madill
